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1000 Ways To Die
Season 1 Life Will Kill You *Frank Soriani - Accidentally cut in half when run over by a truck, halves accidentally sent to different hospitals. (Semi-Cide) *Milos Dudak - Accidentally buried underneath 3 tons of sand by drunken co-worker Tom McNamara, suffocated when the sand compressed his torso. (Constriction Accident) *Bobby Joe - Bitten on the chest close to his heart by a rattlesnake, died minutes later. (Fang Banged) *Lori Pathouson - Accidentally steps into a puddle with exposed wires with in it and touched a metal pole, electrocuted instantly. (Lesbocution) *Mark Vogal - Bitten by his pet Black Widow spider, Elvira, killed by neurotoxin when it gave him a heart attack. His other pets ate his body for over two weeks. (Love Bugged) *Hector Madeira - Accidentally trapped inside industrial clothes dryer by work partner and spun around at temperatures of over 200 degrees Fahrenheit (93 degrees Celsius) for over six minutes. (Tumble Die) Hard Lives, Easy Deaths *Billy DeMayo - Locked inside meat freezer by his boss for stealing meat and getting his bosses' grand daughter pregnant. He dies of hypothermia. (Freeze Died) *Richard Paxon - Paralyzed due to decompression sickness while flying an airplane at twelve thousand feet after scuba-diving, crashes into the side of a mountain and explodes. (Dive Bombed) *2 Unnamed Friends - Paralyzed due to decompression sickness while riding in an airplane at twelve thousand feet after scuba-diving, crashes into the side of a mountain and explodes. (Dive Bombed) *James - Paralyzed by a Haitian witch doctor with tetrodotoxin (TTX) for the man's brother over a land dispute. The poison fakes his death after two days and is buried alive. He later suffocates to death, having tried to claw his way out, only wearing his fingers to the bone. (De-Coffinated) *Dalph Schmidt - Puts on a latex fish fetish suit and suffers hypothermia due to it being 97 degrees Fahrenheit outside (36 degrees Celsius). He dies of a heat stroke in just 15 minutes. (Wet Dream) *Unnamed Man - Tied to a tree, wrapped in animal skins, and then eaten alive by Vultures. (Fur Burger) Unforced Errors *Ian Campbell - Accidentally jumped out of a building to his death when he jumped at a safety glass window, usually ending up not hurt to impress women, but this time he fell 40 stories to the ground when the glass shattered. (Habeas Corpse) *Jesse Dale - Accidentally pulled inside of a working wood-chipper while trying to remove a stuck branch with his foot. (Chippin' Dale) *Jason - Suffocated due to a lack of air, only helium, inside of a giant basketball. (Gasketballed) *Sarah - Suffocated due to a lack of air, only helium, inside of a giant basketball. (Gasketballed) *JT - Stung to death by hornets after shooting their nest with a paintball gun, not knowing he was allergic to hornet venom. (Me So Hornet) *Boris - Boris, a professional sword swallower, tries swallowing an umbrella but accidentally hits the release button and opened the umbrella, choking on it when he couldn't pull it out. (Dumbrella) *Jennifer - Using a carrot as a sex toy, a rough patch slices her insides and creates an air bubble which goes to her heart, suffocating her. (Killdo) Death Over Easy *Myron Burns - Fell asleep while smoking and suffered 3rd degree burns over 90% of his body. Three weeks later at the hospital, he bribes a nurse to let him smoke outside and his cigarette ashes catch his bandages that are soaked in a flammable ointment on fire, he rolls down a ramp in his wheelchair and then his oxygen tank explodes. (Butt F***ed) *Alexi - Sufferings from SUNDS (Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome), she dreams every night that a demonic dwarf is strangling her. She dies of a heart attack. (Frightmare) *'James "Little E" Johnson' - Imprisoned for seven counts of murder, he sits on his toilet while watching Oprah. When his TV stops working, he grabs the cable which has exposed wire on it and his metal seat, then is immediately electrocuted like an electric chair and dies of cardiac arrest. (Oprah Winfried) *Randy - High on mushrooms, he comes across an actual furry orgy, and tries joining in. They all reject him and then he tries having sex with an actual bear, thinking it's another furry. He is quickly mauled and eaten alive. (Em-Bear-Assed) *Sonny - Used to performing a trick where he swallows a pool ball halfway down his throat and then regurgitates it back up. He tries the same trick with a cue ball, but doesn't know the cue ball is slightly bigger than the rest of the balls and he chokes to death on it. (Midnight Choker) *Arnold Moss - Peeping in through his neighbor's window while she was in her underwear, he puts his arms and head through the window to get a better look. When his neighbor sees him and she screams, he gets scared and tries retreating but his elbow hits a stick holding up the window and it falls onto him, snapping his neck. (Window Pained) Dead And Deader *John Cook - An adrenaline junkie connects a welder to his ear piercings and turns the voltage up to the max, then dies of cardiac arrest. (Wel-Dead) *Chuck - A newly married man wants his new trailer home to be as clean as possible for his bride, but couldn't unclog his toilet, so he pours bleach down it and accidentally makes chlorine gas that suffocates him when he couldn't make it outside. (Trailer Trashed) *Ronald - While walking to a party with a date, he's hit by a stray bullet that bursts his heart. The bullet was fired into the air over a mile away by a man named Quame celebrating New Year's Eve. (Nite-Capped) *Mickey - A raging alcoholic has his wife give him an enema with a bottle of sherry since he can't drink normally due to recently having throat surgery. His blood alcohol level went up to .57 and died of alcohol poisoning since his liver couldn't break it down. (Sh*t Faced) *Coach Jacousky - Accidentally impaled himself in the eye with a javelin when he's running towards it while looking back at his students to talk to them, then suddenly looking back to soon. (Dead Eye) *Sam - A dominatrix called "Ms. Misery" forces him to wear a latex suit, which he doesn't realize he's allergic to. He can't tell her he's in pain due to the ball gag in his mouth and his pained cries sound like moaning, so he dies from anaphylactic shock. (Domin-A-Dead) Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Total Deaths Category:Stubs Category:TV Category:TV Shows Category:Comedy Category:Horror